Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I want REAL men!

Hey there,

I'm sure you know this whole Metrosexuality-thing going on in the world since Beckham came up with his weird looks a few years ago.
It's the whole "Don't-be-afraid-to-show-you're-female-side"-thing (Don't get me wrong: I don't mind guys showing their feelings, I just mind them wearing tiaras!).

This morning I had an encounter with an exemplar of this rare species in the bus...
There was this male guy - we're speaking of no plucked eyebrows, no make-up, no sparkling clothes or anything like that - a real man so to say, no girlfriend in sight (she could have been an excuse for what you're about to see), him, male and self-secure wearing... well... THIS:

Don't get me wrong... I like the the bag, it's really cute and stuff, but I would rather consider having it for myself than for my boyfriend...

Once again: A man was wearing this. not a woman, not a girl, a carrier of the Y-chromosome: an actual real man (from what I could see).

My question: WHY??? Why world, why did you do this to me?!?!?!

I want men with hair on their chest, no eyeshadow or lipstick (It's hard enough for one to take care of buying the kissproof one!) , no weird hair-experiments (latest metrosexual fashion victim see below) and other potentially silly stuff like that that for some reason the media (and more and more guys) think is "cool"...

Please, all you guys out there: No decent woman will think you're hot when you're looking that ridiculous!
There is only one woman in the world fancying this: Posh Spice, and she IS married already.
(Also, it's obvious why she needs her husband to look female: She's so skinny that she lost all her female features, so she feels better if there's at least somebody at home looking like a woman.)

Women (and probably even 98% of the gay population - correct me when I'm wrong) want men to look like men. (Well, to be fair, they are allowed to smell nicer then oxen... but does that make them female? =)

All I'm trying to say with my little desperate exclamation here is "MEN ALL OVER THE WORLD - UNITE TO BE MALE AGAIN!". Screw everyone who's trying to sell you male make-up and mini skirts and glittering collars or whatever... Stop them!
(And especially for Tobi, let me add the following: Follow the rule 'Mann gegen Mann'!)

Poor guys, you're confused now? Don't know how to achieve that? Which direction to go? What to look like? Don't know what this strange woman is asking you to do?
I'm not evil, and I won't let you try to do your make-over without an instruction... THIS is definitely the right way to go for you:

Any questions?
Just talk to my boyfriend... Mhuahahahahaaaa! (Dr. Evil-Laughter)

Hoping for more manhood in the world,


At 3:59 am, Anonymous alreadyme said...

How about if they behave like the Greatest Man Who Ever Lived? Jesus Christ!


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